Stupid Christmas Cookie

Well Hello,
Here I sit at 11:37 on Christmas Eve and I made a mistake not that long ago. I ate a cookie. Many years ago we did a cookie exchange at work and I just fell in love with these lemon press cookies or probably also know as a spritz I think. No one else in the house really eats them, but I thought my little one might try them and my husband does eat a few...so I baked today. We had another choice to leave on Santa's plate and I got to have one of my favorites.

I am not sure why I thought I could handle it. So now I am typing away in my usual rhythmic pattern of working it through. I get agitated and typing helps me focus and calm down. And soon enough I will curl up some where in the house and finally fall asleep.

I have so little to say and so much to just type. Ever since I relapsed with the c.diff the blasto has been worse. I have been alternating herbs to try and knock it down a bit. I have a new doctor I am seeing who truly believes I need to clear this infection, well both infections. But the current treatment, as any of you know who have this and are reading, is not all that successful.

And then there are my kidney stone stories. In short, I eat basically all protein and because of that I have a high uric acid diet, and because of that I form uric acid kidney stones.

It stinks. Had a rough 4 weeks here. I wish it was warmer out so I could pace between mailboxes. I can feel the fatigue setting in, but so are some of the other symptoms. What a mess. WHY did I do this to myself!!!

Will power - what an interesting topic. I have will power that keeps me eating only chicken every day 4 times a day. I have will power to get up and go to work just about every working day of the year in spite of how I feel. Why did I eat that blasted cookie. Yes just one. And they are press cookies so they are not big at all. I remember before I knew I had blasto, and my older child was much younger, I got him a snack after school of milk and cookies (chips-a-hoy to be exact). I took a bite of one of the cookies and then through the rest away. Oh my - what a huge attack I had from that one bite. Really this is insane.