a bag of chocolate chips really is a bad idea

Hello Blog,
It has been awhile I see. My last blog entry was in April. I have been experimenting with a frequency machine for both blasto and c.diff. I lot of wondering going on. I have had trouble for the past month or so with binging. Really I have eaten entire cakes myself. And for what ever reason, most likely because they were in the food pantry I have taken to nibbling on chocolate chips. It is really a bad thing. For the most part it has been my usual, but that included the machine. Until it broke this past Friday. What a drag. Now I need to ship it back. If I had it I would work on a session right now to see if it could reduce my symptoms. I am slipping back into obsession also. I cannot sleep. I think about work nonstop. Now I am stuck on Rob and Audra's new baby and the night before I was stuck on the anniversary party. Not as much on that though which makes me think tonight is really about the bugs.

I am also sitting here in the dark, wondering if I had been at the dining room table with the light barely lite like this would the thief who stole my cell phone, have had the nerve to open my car door with me sitting here? I would like to think not, but truth is it could have just added to their thrill. Wonder what they are doing with my phone. I need to get insurance on it. I volunteered for too much stuff for Audra's shower. I am going to have to only take on what I can handle. I have a heating pad on my neck and that always sends a calming warmth into my body. Also typing on my blog always exhausts me too.

I have a sinus headache that I wish would diminish. I am kinda sick and tired or work. It is just so much politics to handle on top of the actual work.

well it looks like it has been ages since I typed anything. that is a good thing because the reason for the posts on this blog is middle of the night episodes. i'm definitely having one tonight. they are such a drag. the feelings that creep through my body like i should just be curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor. the stomach pain and nausea are just too much. and i do this too myself. i was home all day today since it is a sunday, and i binged. my current binge since christmas is pizzelle cookies. i ate almost an entire sleeve of the today. i could not stop myself and this is also a real problem. i gain weight and i end up with middle of the night episodes. this one is still going on. my stomach and abdomen hurt, i have intestinal cramping and of course d. but the waves of toxic feeling that float through my body are what really cause the ill health