Wed 5:08 am

I know when I not feeling well and my disease is acting up, if that is what I am going to call it today, because I wake up early. I am almost jolted out of bed, well off the sofa. I know I was doing so much better last week because I not only slept through the night but slept in our bed instead of the sofa.

Yes I am a sofa sleeper. It started after the birth of our second and I did not want to wake everyone up in the middle of the night. Well before that there was the fear of climbing the stairs recovering from a c-section. Then the mid night feedings. Then the becoming sick all over again with c.diff.

This morning however feels more like a blasto thing. My hot spot on my lower right side is really a big knot. I was jolted awake by this weird dream. Don't even think I remember it all that clearly. And then the stupid shakes are kinda here.

I wish I had never ever touched that stupid entemenns raspberry danish on Sunday. I ruined everything. I was tolerating culturelle and align and as most of you suffering with blasto know probiotics set you off. But the dificid did something and changed my gut ecology enough that I was tolerating them and think I was starting to overcome the c.diff. Now I am scared to take one. I need the blasto back under control.

What a drag. I wonder if there is a high suicide rate with long time sufferers. Really makes quality living so very very hard.

And I was up late the night before too because I felt bad and could not fall asleep. and now up early today. I will lie back down and maybe turn the tv on and see if re-runs of cheers are still on.

don't eat entemann raspberry danish

Really it is not worth it. I did. why oh why. I am not even sure when the last time was I posted. Life has been busy. Using my alternative approaches to try and keep this beast under control. And trying to manage c.diff. Been busy with a new job, back to full time and I am not sure I am well enough, but oh well I'm in now. Anniversary party for my in-laws. Trip to Disney. Both of these are worth entries of there own.

I was on dificid for the c.diff, and while that is also another story, it did seem to weaken the blasto. Was not convinced it took care of the c.diff and I decided to try a probiotic yet again. I decided to mix it up hoping to mix the gut population. I alternated between natren's healthy trinity, align and culturelle. I knew right when the healthy trinity hit my hot spot. And Align would give a sort of announcment that it was now entering my colon. Culturelle gave only the slightest hint of arrival at my trigger spot.

I went into a c.diff or what seemed more like a c.diff event a week and half ago and decided to pound them until I could not handle it. And a very interesting thing happened. I was taking 8,9,10 a day and my d stopped. I still had back pain, joint pain, toxins circulating through my veins but the d stopped.

And I was feeling better. Ate a hamburger, and cucumber and tomotoes and cucumber again.

And too many chocolate chip cookies and keebler stipped cookie and then entenmanns was buy one get one free....so I bought the raspberry danish for me and donuts for my boys.

so for what ever reason on Sunday I ate half the danish. and I did not have my typical 4 hours trigger. But the next morning I went into a blasto episode. and the probiotics today set me off and the cookie set me off and now full blown blasto.

all from a danish. Really I would have no problem giving it up forever. If I never ate another one so be it, if I could have fruit and carrots and salad dressing etc

I am so sick and tired of this.
Really when is the medical community going to admit it make people sick and find the treatment!