the dishwasher

I started a post a day or so ago called today is about c.diff. This spore forming bacteria is just horrible. Really it is by far so much worse. And I relapsed. Partially my fault. I of course am not to blame for having the disease. I have been off the vanco for a few months now, although I find I have symptoms often. I found a great help by taking culturelle. So I started to get a sinus infection and went to use an old Rx I had for a vaporizer delivery system. I have taken this before, but now realize I was controlled on vanco before. Well a few days after the first dose I am in full blown c.diff state. I have positives tests back and everything. And I finally decide to look the drug up on line and it is second in line linked with causing c.diff.

So why the dishwasher? c.diff makes you agitated among all the other symptoms. In a different way than blasto does. And the dishwasher is my white noise. It has soothed me now for years. I have been know to rerun it just for the white noise. I can not relax. I am so on edge it is not even funny And the dishwasher is not having its usual calming effect. But it is only 12 am. Well actually I guess it is technically 11pm since tonight is daylight savings - fall back 1 hour.

In our first house, which was much smaller, I could hear the dishwasher in our bedroom. Although I spent many hours trying to calm down or sleep in the sofa or day bed in the first floor bedroom/playroom. Years ago when we moved into our next house I was lost without the noise. In fact the old house had forced air, which was also great background noise. This house has baseboard hot water heating. Just not the same. It took some time to get used to not having the fan noise with the heat. And even longer for the dishwasher. I spend alot of time on the family room sofa now so I can be lulled asleep to the sounds it makes.

but tonight it is not helping so much. Stupid c.diff. I really mean it when I say it is a horrible disease. Just horrible